30 Days of Kink

October 26, 2010

I’m a little late to the party but I saw this post over at Insatiable Desire and I had to borrow the prompts, so without further ado:

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I identify as a switch although I’ve had partners where our relationship was strictly one or the other.

Day 2: List your kinks.

I’m more of a sadomasochist than anything with various types of impact play being my personal favorite, but I can also get very into role play and humiliation play depending on my partner. Also leather gets me wet, whether its a leather flogger or a perfectly fitted pair of leather pants.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

There was no one particular lightbulb moment where I realized “oh yes, this is what I’m into”, although I did write about a defining instance in this post. That said, it was a combination of bedroom power struggles, playful spankings, and a couple key discoveries online that led me to figure it all out (and fairly early on as well – I discovered BDSM in high school).

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Remember the musical version of Camelot? Watching Guinevere being captured, jailed, and ritually marched through the crowd to be tied to the stake and burned still does it for me.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Probably the first time I convinced a boyfriend to let me tie him to the bed…wasn’t too difficult :).

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Its probably a tough call but the most out there would be an intense interrogation scene, e.g. I’d be a captured spy/soldier of some sort forced to endure all sorts of torture at the hands of the enemy in order to protect my compatriots and sensitive information. Perhaps one of these days I’ll write it up, although it might be more suitable for Fetlife than my blog.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

To use on others its probably my black leather flogger with sixteen-inch falls – it just feels absolutely perfect in my hand; that or my strap-ons (yes I have more than one, I like to tailor my cock to my partner’s preferences when possible). To have used on me its probably either my glass cock for pleasure or a wooden paddle for the fun sort of pain (or perhaps together for the best of both worlds). Ice is also an underrated toy and usually readily and freely available.

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

True Blood fans probably remember this scene from season 2.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

The opening scene of the extended version of this video is hotter than most porn.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

The usual ones (no non-consenting parties, no scat, etc.) and no tickling. Tickling me will likely result in a black eye for anyone foolish enough to attempt it, and yes I warn potential partners of this. Also mocking my beloved alma mater’s football team will result in you being on the business end of my toys so proceed with caution.

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I think there is room for nefarious types to prey on others – same as in real life. Get consent, talk about things first, and be careful how much you push your partners and its all good.

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

In general I find people who take themselves too seriously funny, but who doesn’t?

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you?  Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Without BDSM or kink play in my life, it feels like something’s missing.

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?  If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

The fantasy world can get much more extreme (and that’s why it can be fun) but nothing replaces the real life experience.

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Most definitely needle play, especially a temporary corset piercing.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

I’m lucky enough to live in a large city, making finding BDSM-inclined people pretty simple. Previously it used to be explaining why I needed it to be satisfied sexually, but I’m fortunate to be in an open relationship with someone who shares and understands my kinks, and it is wonderful

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

That we’re all goth-type tattooed freaks ;). That said, I have tattoos but otherwise I look like your typical girl next door.

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves?  If so, what are they?

Those who take themselves too seriously, and the Gor folk.

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

Cheesy moment time – it has brought friends and lovers into my life and allowed me to develop deeper relationships than through a more vanilla connection.

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Medical play of most kinds simultaneously squicks me out and turns me on.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Way, way too many to list here – but I’d have to include the ones I’ve contributed too. If you email me and ask nicely I might share these with you (and I also do custom stories if you’re interested).

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?  How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

I think it is actually quite similar – communication is key, perhaps even more so in a BDSM relationship where you are playing with some intense emotions and sensations; paying attention and taking care of your partner’s physical and mental state is essential.

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

I’ve probably become even more open and experimental, if that’s possible.

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Intelligence, a certain wittiness or sense of humor, and nice hands.

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Pretty damn open, even my vanilla friends know I’m kinky and come to me for sex advice.

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

It can be a safe way to explore and most definitely is a good outlet for those who can’t or won’t play in real life; however, personally I don’t think it could nearly as fulfilling as the actual thing.

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I tend to make sex-related bets on my favorite football, basketball, and hockey teams. This doesn’t always work out in my favor.

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

I love lingerie, corsets, and leather; I’m starting to get into latex as well. However, I am just as happy playing in my normal clothes or naked.

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

My man calls me Princess when I’m topping; slut is also a favorite form of endearment for my partners. Madame or Mademoiselle works for me as well.

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Halloween might be the best kinky holiday, one of my costumes this year involved a silver glitter strap-on, black and silver fishnets, black bra and thong, black leather boots, and a silver and white wig. I looked like a demented Lady Gaga but me and my dick got a lot of attention that evening.

If you are dressing up as something kinky, what did you or will you wear?



  1. Glad to see that your back. Love your answers. I liked your answer to #27. Those ar my favorite too. I think we should bet on something..lol

  2. […] She at She’s That Kind of Girl […]

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