Photo courtesy of Evocative Abyss

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #22? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Important e[lust] update: e[lust] will be going on hiatus for the holidays. The editions for November and December would both occur around the holidays and I know I’ll be short on both submissions and judges as well as personal time. e[lust] #22 will return in January, with ample advance warning, so please make sure you’re subscribed for updates!

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

D/s Without the D/s? – This is one of those situations in a real time D/s relationship where much of the “fun” aspects of the D/s needs to be stuffed in the closet for a bit. And for us, it’s not a great time to be either a masochist or a sadist. We can deal with that.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Yes, Jelly Sex Toys Can be Dangerous – Even if a jelly rubber toy says “phthalate-free”, it still can contain toxic chemicals that can cause skin reactions in some people. These toys are still non-porous and can harbor dirt and bacteria because they cannot be sanitized.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Unfortunately, this edition has no Top Three picks as I didn’t have enough volunteer judges. If you’d like to volunteer to help, visit this page to find out more info and ensure that the Top Three picks continue.

See also: Pleasurists #101 and #100 for all your sex toy review needs.

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

All Painted Up…

A Modest Proposal: Should Ginger & Cooper Fuck?

Happy Sexual Freedom Day

How Do You Explain

Life in spanking after 30: part 2

Erotic Writing

blindfold

Fantasy: Movie Night

Feeling Helpless

Gabrielle, Guest Star

Happy Anniversary…

History Lesson

I Still Don’t Know How You Taste

Monday Morning 2am

Metallic Seduction

Need

New Erotic Story For The Holidays – Tinsel Temptation

Putting the car into park

The Ordeal (Part Four)

The Sweetest Violation

The Young Mom

The Moment

The Soccer Mom

Timeless in a Window’s Light

Kink & Fetish

A space to hate and rage and be angry (photo story)

Beyond the Bedroom

Does liking Helmut Newton equal a fetish?

Happy Halloween: Light Me Up

I am all pins and needles

Kink and Fibromyalgia

Ownership and Monogamy

Punishing the servants

Pi

Switching It Up

The Cage

The Sacred Swinger Holiday: Halloween!

the most amazing night with HIM

The Pedicure

The Right Question

Wax on, wax off!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

All Roads Lead to Acceptance… I hope!

Crisis Averted

Dear boyfriend, I love you. And your cock.

Having Great Goddamned Expectations

If You Google it, I will Answer #9

I Don’t Know If I’ve Ever Been Really Loved By a Hand That’s Touched Me

How to Massage Man’s G-spot

My Coming Out Story

National Coming Out Day

Recovering From Anorexia

Role Reversal

Sadie’s Condom PSA

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch?  What parts of BDSM interest you?  Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I identify as a switch although I’ve had partners where our relationship was strictly one or the other.

Day 2: List your kinks.

I’m more of a sadomasochist than anything with various types of impact play being my personal favorite, but I can also get very into role play and humiliation play depending on my partner. Also leather gets me wet, whether its a leather flogger or a perfectly fitted pair of leather pants.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

There was no one particular lightbulb moment where I realized “oh yes, this is what I’m into”, although I did write about a defining instance in this post. That said, it was a combination of bedroom power struggles, playful spankings, and a couple key discoveries online that led me to figure it all out (and fairly early on as well – I discovered BDSM in high school).

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Remember the musical version of Camelot? Watching Guinevere being captured, jailed, and ritually marched through the crowd to be tied to the stake and burned still does it for me.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Probably the first time I convinced a boyfriend to let me tie him to the bed…wasn’t too difficult .

Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Its probably a tough call but the most out there would be an intense interrogation scene, e.g. I’d be a captured spy/soldier of some sort forced to endure all sorts of torture at the hands of the enemy in order to protect my compatriots and sensitive information. Perhaps one of these days I’ll write it up, although it might be more suitable for Fetlife than my blog.

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

To use on others its probably my black leather flogger with sixteen-inch falls – it just feels absolutely perfect in my hand; that or my strap-ons (yes I have more than one, I like to tailor my cock to my partner’s preferences when possible). To have used on me its probably either my glass cock for pleasure or a wooden paddle for the fun sort of pain (or perhaps together for the best of both worlds). Ice is also an underrated toy and usually readily and freely available.

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

True Blood fans probably remember this scene from season 2.

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

The opening scene of the extended version of this video is hotter than most porn.

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

The usual ones (no non-consenting parties, no scat, etc.) and no tickling. Tickling me will likely result in a black eye for anyone foolish enough to attempt it, and yes I warn potential partners of this. Also mocking my beloved alma mater’s football team will result in you being on the business end of my toys so proceed with caution.

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I think there is room for nefarious types to prey on others – same as in real life. Get consent, talk about things first, and be careful how much you push your partners and its all good.

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

In general I find people who take themselves too seriously funny, but who doesn’t?

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you?  Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Without BDSM or kink play in my life, it feels like something’s missing.

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?  If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

The fantasy world can get much more extreme (and that’s why it can be fun) but nothing replaces the real life experience.

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Most definitely needle play, especially a temporary corset piercing.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

I’m lucky enough to live in a large city, making finding BDSM-inclined people pretty simple. Previously it used to be explaining why I needed it to be satisfied sexually, but I’m fortunate to be in an open relationship with someone who shares and understands my kinks, and it is wonderful

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

That we’re all goth-type tattooed freaks . That said, I have tattoos but otherwise I look like your typical girl next door.

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves?  If so, what are they?

Those who take themselves too seriously, and the Gor folk.

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

Cheesy moment time – it has brought friends and lovers into my life and allowed me to develop deeper relationships than through a more vanilla connection.

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Medical play of most kinds simultaneously squicks me out and turns me on.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Way, way too many to list here – but I’d have to include the ones I’ve contributed too. If you email me and ask nicely I might share these with you (and I also do custom stories if you’re interested).

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?  How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

I think it is actually quite similar – communication is key, perhaps even more so in a BDSM relationship where you are playing with some intense emotions and sensations; paying attention and taking care of your partner’s physical and mental state is essential.

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?

I’ve probably become even more open and experimental, if that’s possible.

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Intelligence, a certain wittiness or sense of humor, and nice hands.

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Pretty damn open, even my vanilla friends know I’m kinky and come to me for sex advice.

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

It can be a safe way to explore and most definitely is a good outlet for those who can’t or won’t play in real life; however, personally I don’t think it could nearly as fulfilling as the actual thing.

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I tend to make sex-related bets on my favorite football, basketball, and hockey teams. This doesn’t always work out in my favor.

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

I love lingerie, corsets, and leather; I’m starting to get into latex as well. However, I am just as happy playing in my normal clothes or naked.

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

My man calls me Princess when I’m topping; slut is also a favorite form of endearment for my partners. Madame or Mademoiselle works for me as well.

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Halloween might be the best kinky holiday, one of my costumes this year involved a silver glitter strap-on, black and silver fishnets, black bra and thong, black leather boots, and a silver and white wig. I looked like a demented Lady Gaga but me and my dick got a lot of attention that evening.

If you are dressing up as something kinky, what did you or will you wear?

My costume was hardly the most interesting thing about my night, however. That had to have been either the fire play demo I participated in (for more about that, click here and the obvious safety disclaimers apply) or being strapped down to a table and having our fabulous hostess do deliciously evil things to me (with the help of her man and mine). Or perhaps it was having my glitter cock sucked by two gorgeous women – at the same time.

On to the hot stuff…imagine being up against a cross while flames licked up and down your body, the feeling is somewhere along the lines of a hot stone massage topped off with a shivery-stingy sensation that sets your nerves on end. It was so all-consuming that I even forgot everything was happening publicly, and normally my exhibitionist streak doesn’t let me get out of my own head in that kind of situation.

Apparently the show lasted quite a while, but for it was over all too quickly.

To be continued…

After all, “Its the good girls who keep the diaries, bad girls don’t have time.” That said, I’m embarking on a couple new endeavors so there will be new updates, here or another location. Stay tuned.

You can also follow me on twitter @thatsortofgirl.

1. Threesomes and foursomes. Clearly I’ve snapped my streak of bad luck in this regard.

2. Playing in public in ways that satisfy both my exhibitionist and masochistic streaks.

3. New pleasurable toys. Oh, the new toys – especially the magic wand.

4. Discovering new and creative ways to wield a strap-on. In fact, I’ve been told I am better with my cock than many who come by theirs naturally. (My favorite one is silver glitter. Why yes that does indeed make it better; I heart my glitter cock).

5. New painful toys (although my favorite is still the classic leather belt – convenient, readily accessible most of the time, and oh so mean).

6. Watching my man with another woman – hot as hell, especially from the vantage point of laying underneath while he fucked her from behind (I play well with others).

7. Having the kind of marks that are borderline impossible to cover up, yet managing to get away with it anyways – despite the fact that I had them while in Miami for work (fortunately my pin-up style bathing suit covers things pretty well).

8. Gave a real lapdance, to my favorite song no less.

9. Wielded a number of new things – the paddle might be favorite at the moment, but I’ll be getting my own cane very soon.

10. It is difficult to choose a number ten, so I will go with “shall be continued…“

2. A (temporary) corset piercing. This fascinates me.

3. Dance tango in Buenos Aires (who says that everything on my list has to be explicitly sex-related? Besides, if you’ve ever danced or watched tango you know that it can be highly sexually charged).

4. The opportunity, location, and um, equipment to act some of the many elaborate role-play scenes I’ve dreamed up.

5. A commission from my editor (I write erotica on the side in addition to my day job) that is not focused on a man and a woman in a relatively vanilla heteronormative relationship.

6. Partner with another top-type and share a lovely, lucky submissive type or two.

7. Put on a burlesque show or striptease, classic Gypsy Rose Lee style.

8. Experiment with predicament bondage – usually just being restrained doesn’t quite do it for me on its own, but add elements of endurance and pain to it and all of a sudden I’m way more than intrigued.

9. Teach one of my girls to perform (define that how you will) to mine and others’ satisfaction and have the opportunity to show off her skills.

10. I have property up in northern Michigan – a cabin on 10 acres in the middle of nowhere. It would be perfect for a fabulous weekend of adults-only fun (and no one could hear anyone scream).

Recently I tried to describe what it was about receiving pain that worked for me; I got as far as giggling “in the right mindset it feels like a deep tissue massage” before I decided it was time to take it to the blog.

After the first few strokes (which I will admit are painful in the non-fun way), my mind crystallizes pain into something else sublimely delicious – something that feels like heaven. I’ll also admit that my pain tolerance and discipline might be higher than most thanks to spending most of life being an elite figure skater and then a hockey player – talk about developing the ability to take pain! (plus I’m very flexible).

When I try to put that feeling into better words I reach for my synesthesia-colored background and say it is colored shades of deep crimson ranging to dark blue, but that is not the kind of description anyone but my fellow synesthetes will understand.

I also like the way the sting of a flogger, or belt, or paddle gets me out of my own head – again, it is a cliche but there is something to be said for letting your mind go completely blank and just giving yourself up to the feeling, whether it be exquisite pleasure, sharp pain, or a wonderful mix of both.

So I’ll take it to the readers…what’s your favorite kind of luscious agony?

Despite the fact that I sincerely avoid self-censorship in my writing, I sometimes wonder what people I may write about (I never use real names or any kind of identifying details) might think. However, I never will let that affect what I write here or any other place – it is just something interesting to think about.

This has been a public service announcement courtesy of She’s That Kind Of Girl.

It is made of black leather and makes the most delicious whooshing noise when I use it.

Any guesses as to what it is?